Tuesday, February 8, 2011


I am in a Bible Study with some women and we are studying the book, Fearless.  I read the chaper about being fearful/scared/concerned for our children. I totally related. I find myself praying for my girls so often.  Being a mother is hard. There is so much out of my control. I drop them off at school... and pray. I send them to a friend's house to play... and pray. I used to walk out of the NICU doors and leave Brooke there... and pray. Over the years, I have spent many hours waiting on medical reports on my girls... and prayed. Right now I am snuggling with a sick baby... and praying.  It is kind of all you can do!
I feel myself shifting my worry around. Right now it is focused on Brynn. She seems more anxious than usual. I can not go into another room without letting her know where I am going and how long I will be there (even if it is just to fill up a cup of water).  I certainly could not go upstairs without her going with me. The few times that I have assumed she was content and ran upstairs, she totally panics. She sobs and reaches this concerning point of freaking out. She still goes to preschool and Sunday school without an unhealthy level of anxiety, but other situations are proving to be too overwhealming for her. She has so much anxiety and it makes me sad. I feel like a lot of it comes from me and that also makes me sad. I do my best to reassure her that she is safe and things are ok... and I pray. A lot...


  1. You know I can relate b/c of my Jackie. I was thrilled to hear his preschool conference notes, however. He's better adjusted than I thought.

    You are such a fantastic mother, Jillian. I mean that on every single level possible. I strive to be more like you each day! Take a minute every now and then and pray for yourself, too. Pray that you'll see just what a blessing you are to your husband and family. It's not always easy for us to recognize in ourselves.

    So, I'll do it for you. :)

  2. i agree that you are a wonderful mom. i worry, too. constantly. it gives me a headache. i pray, too. of course, the whole idea of prayer is to allevieate the worry, right? hmm.