Saturday, February 19, 2011


Back to my Bible Study...
We are reading the book Fearless by Max Lucado. There is a chapter that we discussed this week that I am struggling with. I talked about it a little bit during our study. It was interesting how different women had different suggestions/comments/ideas for me.
We were talking about giving our children "back to God".
     "We tend to forget this fact, regarding our children as 'our' children, as though we have the final say in
     their health and welfare. We don't. All people are God's people, including the small people who sit at our
     tables. Wise are the parents who regularly give their children back to God." (pg. 58)
I have done this often... "given" my girls back to God. However, I find myself afraid to totally let go. I gave the example of when Brooke was in the NICU.  I would walk out of the double doors of the unit and pray. I would say, "God, I know that she is yours. I give her to you, BUT do not let her die." I couldn't full let go and let God. I felt the need to hang on just a little bit. To keep a small amount of the control.
I knew that He was capable of taking care of her. He had kept her alive that long. There was no medical explanation for her being alive. It was all God... and for some reason I struggled with fully letting Him be in control. I was so afraid that He would take her from me.
     "Don't be afraid. Just believe, and your daughter will be well." -Luke 8:50
He promised. I struggled.


  1. i had this exact conversation with a friend yesterday. we had just listened to a message on surrender. i told her i was scared to fully surrender to God because i was worried He would allow something to happen to my children. it sounds so silly, but it's true. i told her that while i have faith in God, i struggle to trust Him. To trust what He sees as good. For some reason i think if i keep my hand on the wheel (cue carrie underwood), i will be able to make everything turn out okay. i've been doing that for about 20 years now, and it's not working out very well ...

  2. I am so glad that I am not the only one.

  3. This is so hard for me. Regarding Caroline, specifically.