Boobs or Books???

Since the doctor frowned upon the boob job, I decided to spend the money on turning our dining room into an office/library. I have had all of my books in boxes in storage since we moved in almost 4 years ago. I am happy to have them back out again...

In the past?

"I try not to live in the past, he thought, but who knows, sometimes the past lives in me." -Taken from Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet

Move forward.
Live for today.
You can't change the past.
That is yesterday's news.
There is nothing you can do about it now.
Move on.
Forget about it.

Oh, how sometimes I wish that was all true. However, the quote from the book seems to fit my life more.

The past seems to live in me...
The great times and the tough memories.
The highs and the lows.
The struggles and the joys.
The tears of sorrow and the tears of joy.
The days my girls were born and the days the others didn't make it.
The day I was married and the days we fight.
The mornings of sun and afternoons of storms.
The moments of complete love for my kids and the times of total frustration.
The pain and the healing.
The past seems to live in me...

The past makes me.
Creates me.
It is what I am made up of.
It is why I am who I am.
I wouldn't be the woman I am without it.
I certainly wouldn't be the wife and mother I am...
Or the friend.

So maybe it isn't so bad...
to sometimes have the past live in you.

Little House on a Big Hill

I took my girls to a little house on a big hill...
For a break.
For peace and fresh air.
For understanding and a place to pray.
For time to clear my mind and my head.

My amazing friend lives there. 
Our relationship has evolved through the years...
From Spring Break tattoos to deep understanding.
And I wouldn't be where I am today without her influence.
She is the friend who responds with "Prayed for you at dinner. Love you.... Will pray for you more."
When I text her late at night feeling extra desperate.

Her little house on a big hill was just what my heart needed.
Her care and her love.
Her understanding and her ability to challenge.
Her cooking and her wine.
Her fresh air.
And tire swing...

It all did my heart some good.
Thank you, friend.