Thursday, January 6, 2011

Don't Fail Me Now...

My body and I have a bit of a love/hate relationship.
I haven't always treated it well. I certainly have not treated it as a temple of God. I have worn it down and abused it. I have made it sick and made it skinny. I have made it very mad. I have made it very happy.
It put up a fight when I wanted it to carry babies. Apparently it disagreed with my plan. I loved my body when it agreed with the babies growing inside. I hated my body when it was trying to evict the babies growing inside. We fought back and forth. Some days I won and other days I didn't.
After babies the push and pull, love and hate started again. My body started doing weird things. Abnormal things. Headaches, fatigue, nausea, shakes, confusion, most likely at least one stroke. Test after test. Procedure after procedure. Lab after lab. Dollar after dollar.
And now I wait... again. I had a follow up MRI done last week. This test will be compared with my last 5 MRI tests. It will show if there have been any significant changes.
And so I wait. I cringe when the telephone rings. I suppose I want answers, but maybe I don't. I haven't been feeling too awful lately. So, what good is bad news? Maybe no news is good news. Maybe not.
Please body, don't fail me now. I am being better to you. I am taking care of you. I am giving you what you want and need. I have beautiful children and a wonderful family. Lets work together... how about it?


  1. thank you for sharing this.
    i love you.
    as for me and my's a love hate relationship. currently i'm feeding it a vegan no sugar, no alcohol, fueled by sleep and caffeine diet. but my shoulders are too tight and my forehead wrinkled, that's inward moving outward i believe. the more defined wrinkle in my right cheek is okay and so are the crows feet around my eyes. they are evidence of smiles and laughter and happy.
    and i'm teaching it. teaching it to run a marathon.